What would a groupie say?

As seen on the storyboard, I plan to have only one small section of dialogue (or monologue), where the character would talk to herself trying to rehearse a conversation with a band member or build up confidence.

Here's what I was thinking she could say:

• So you play bass right?
• Oh my god I love your music!!!
• So where are you staying?
• Wanna go for a smoke?
• Am I legal? Yeah of course I'm legal. In fact, I've been legal for three hours now.

So obviously, these are all going to be said in a sarcastic, kind of foolish tone. I figured that no actual "professional" groupie would say these things to an actual bass player, so I aim to show that naive side of her through her speech. For this part of the opening, I plan to use a lot of jump cuts to show the indecisiveness and hesitation from her, and how she thinks of saying something and immediately takes it back because she believes she sounds ridiculous.

This is the finalized script:


It’s about 8:00 PM in the year in 1992. It’s Maia’s 18th birthday and she strongly aspires to become a groupie that same night, which is why she’s getting ready to go to a small venue where a band will perform. After getting dressed, she turns to look at herself in the mirror, and rehearses the conversations she would have with a band member.

*Jump cut between each sentence

MAIA
Your music is truly truly amazing, big fan.

No. Too desperate.

So you play bass right?

(Pushes up her breasts with her hands, trying to look older and mature)

You sure know how to play, can I see your fingers? 

(Realizes what she said is really bad, immediately makes a facial expression showing disgust and regret)

Wanna go for a smoke?

Am I legal? Of course I’m legal. In fact, it’s been exactly three hours and 28 minutes since-

(Gets interrupted by very obnoxious horn honking from outside)

(Curses under her breath, and rushed around her room grabbing everything she needs before leaving)